Mucho Emotion

We found a broken tail light and the damage on car side and the rear bumper! Angry! I thought this is a safe neighborhood. 2 notes were attached on the windshield. A nice witness kindly left some information hoping to be helpful. We then talked with the neighbors. Sadly, the sinner took off too fast and no one was able to read his plate number. Police report was filed, the insurance company was informed. 可惡! 車尾燈被撞破, 後保險桿和後車門一大片刮痕. 好心的目擊者在雨刷處留了2張字條，希望能幫我們找到兇手。可惜，我們和附近鄰居聊後，兇手因太快離開現場，沒人來得及記下車牌號碼。已通知警察和保險公司。

公公問我: 大兒子帥還是Ralph帥?  我: Ralph帥啊! 公公再問一次. 我同樣回答: "Ralph帥!", 他認真地看著我 .....於是,我補上"哦, 在我眼中,自己老公比較帥啊". 公公接著說: 大兒子長得很像我. (不如, 直接問我, 你年輕時帥不帥?!   )

肺癌末期, 還剩下多少日子? 之前臨床研究做過肺癌，也看過走得快的病例，但還是忍不住google 這個問題。醫師未明白表示，卻暗示著日子不多。沒有醫師能說什麼時候會離開，話語之間隱藏著難以言語的歎息。 昨天 2/25 完成婆婆的下葬禮，願婆婆享福新生活。 因為這件事，老公和我也討論了有尊嚴的離開及DNR (Do Not Resuscitate/拒絶心肺復甦術)的時機和遺囑...這些並非容易的話題。老公想起也在昨天偕我到銀行，確認設定我為beneficiary(受益人)。 2/10. [ karma. 見證最後一口氣] 今天早上9:30 排定婆婆轉住安寧中心。本來，老公覺得要我不用跟今天，因為不確定安寧中心是否有free wifi 可供我上網工作。我跟老公說，婆婆轉移時一定會因為痛而清醒，希望至少我和老公都在場，減少她的恐懼。 不塞車時走高速公路15分鐘就能到的醫院，因交通高峰時間花了近40分鐘。 8:10 到病床時，看到為轉移病人時需使用的氧氣筒已準備在側。護佐正在量血壓。因為收縮壓降至新低74，護佐馬上通知執班護士。昨天的收縮壓約在82左右，醫師A已預告如果今天一早收縮壓低於80，就要取消轉床(不需做不必要的轉移了)。剛聽到這個數字，我和老公心裡已有準備。 原負責的醫師A今天請假，改由年紀較輕的醫師B來訪。上午8:30，老公和醫師B討論是否取消今天轉床時，我們有點不滿意醫師B的態度。也許B是無心，但實在沒必要在我們面前強調醫院的病床是要給還有治療希望的病人(也不是我們不願轉...)。 婆婆更明顯地需費更多力氣呼吸，一呼一吸之間，是沉重的氣。多半時間仍是閤著眼。互動一天比一天少。護士來訪，問會不會痛，婆婆勉強地搖頭但未睜眼。護士和我們都留意到婆婆的手掌異常地往外側翻。 護士離開後，我和老公討論，打了電話給還在韓國處理婆婆願望的公公。告知公公狀況後，我們請公公透過手機向婆婆說話。公公沒說很多話，短短地說跟婆婆說 "對不起, 我應該對妳好一點..."。聽到公公這句告白，我心疼婆婆。接著, 老公說他也想跟婆婆說對不起的話(正確說來, 婆婆算是他的後母, 年輕時的老公比較不能接受婆婆, 年紀漸長後互動才增加), 我跟老公說想說的話要儘快趁婆婆還有意識。老公和我分別和婆婆獨處說一些話。 接著，老公通知婆婆的教會牧師，教會牧師中午前趕來再為婆婆祈福。 輪

Today, I finally have this urge to do some searching on the internet and see what I may find about my situation. Thanks to people's sharing on My sense of direction is poor...  Since I got married and moved to Hawaii living with my husband, my husband has been 'amazed' how many times he had to drive me to a place (simply as the nearby Safeway of 5 mins of driving) before I could drive and find my own way there. I told him that I was not kidding and I do not know why I could not easily remember the way while others could. I have no answer for it but I know it's for real, not that I pretend or not pay attention to it. So, he got me a GPS. (Haha... I've heard people say that I will never really get lost in Oahu because it is just a circle route. If I get lost, I will eventually get back to where I start because Oahu is a small island. It may sound funny for a Oahu resident to use a GPS, XD. ) GPS helps me some but not all because I am somewhat bad at measuring the